Mathers' Trilogy

Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside, 'round the outside, 'round the outside.
            —Marshall Mathers

 

Slim Shady Sciences

Mathematics: Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside.

History: Trailer park girls have gone 'round the outside for a long time.

Ethics: Trailer park girls should go 'round the outside.

Biology: Young female Homo sapiens go 'round the outside.

Statistics: Two trailer park girls are 100% likely to go 'round the outside.

Philosophy: What are trailer park girls? What constitutes going? Where is 'round?

Law: Those trailer park girls are not allowed to go 'round the outside!

Developmental Psychology: Trailer park girls begin going 'round the outside at a specific age.

LISP: 2 (trailer park girls (go 3('round outside) ) )

Architecture: How do we make it more convenient for trailer park girls to go 'round the outside?

Women's Studies: Social inequalities have forced trailer park womyn to go 'round the outside.

Quantum Physics: Two trailer park electrons go 'round the outside.

Superstring Theory: You see, they're not really trailer park girls. They're n-dimensional membranes that we perceive as trailer park girls under our specific circumstances. And it's equally valid to say they're going 'round the inside.

Game Theory: Two perfectly self-interested, competing trailer park girls go 'round the outside.

Paleontology: Two cavegirls go 'round the outside.

Music Theory: Nobody listens to techno.

Literary Criticism: The two trailer park girls signify the duality of human nature as described by Jung. Outside represents the Other, 'round which they go.

Theology: It is predetermined that two trailer park girls will go 'round the outside.

Demographics: Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside.

Management: If those trailer park girls don't get back in here and get to work, there'll be hell to pay.

 

Eminemath

1) State to three significant digits the number of trailer park girls who go 'round the outside.
      (Answer: 2.00)

2) How many trailer park girls float 'round the outside?
      (Answer: 2E0)

3) What is the number n such that the cube root of n is equal to the number of trailer park girls who go 'round the outside?
      (Answer: 8)

4) Simplify the following equation where n equals the number of trailer park girls who go 'round the outside: a3 - 2a2c + ac2 - c3n = abn - 2a2c + 4ac2 - 2b2c
      (Answer: a + c = b)

5) A trailer park girl goes in a clockwise circle 'round the outside at a rate of 2.0 feet per second, and second trailer park girl goes counterclockwise in the same circle 'round the outside at a rate of 2.8 feet per second. Each departs from due East at the same time. At what radian, stated to the nearest tenth, do they meet?
      (Answer: 3.7)

6) What is the binary number of trailer park girls who go 'round the outside?
      (Answer: 10)

7) What is the hexidecimal number of trailer park girls who go 'round the outside?
      (Answer: 2)

8) How many Roman girls go 'round the outside?
      (Answer: II)

9) How many trailer park girls going 'round the outside does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
      (Answer: 2)

 

Without Marshall: A Play in One Act

CHARACTERS
Two girls.

THE SCENE
A trailer park. Outside.

GIRL #1 goes round.
GIRL #2 goes round.

The two girls each go round two additional times. They repeat the entire procedure, neither they nor anybody else listening to techno.