The Silent Treatment

 

Although the US's standing as the premier influence on geopolitics had already begun to wane in the early 21st century, its reputational cratering only became inevitable when it was clear the aliens didn't want to talk to them.

When the mysterious ship arrived, a golden teardrop five miles long, and locked into orbit above the Pacific Ocean, many people hoped their first stop (if they were peaceful) would be the UN Headquarters in New York. It seemed like the most "neutral" location, and unlikely to leave anyone feeling too left out; but the US government's preferred venue was Washington, DC, believing the optics of making humanity's first contact on the White House lawn would be beyond worth. In their eagerness, they turned every communication signal and outlet at their disposal towards the ship to deliver a single instruction:

COME TO 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE WASHINGTON DC TO MEET EARTH'S LEADERS.

For four days straight these words assaulted the atmosphere, while leaders around the world quietly prepared travel arrangements for both Washington and New York. But on the fifth day every radio frequency was drowned out by one originating from the starship and blanketing the planet. A veritable army of linguists, biologists, and codebreakers had been assembled across the globe to decode the aliens' first communications; luckily only the translators were needed, as the ship's signal repeated three times in perfect Standard Mandarin:

HELLO! WE WOULD LIKE TO MEET WITH CHINESE LEADERSHIP IN TWO DAYS AT THE GREAT HALL OF THE PEOPLE IN BEIJING. AFTER THAT WE WILL VISIT OTHER COUNTRIES TOO. DON'T COME TO US, WE WILL COME TO YOU!

Their message, and its implications, hit international relations like a live grenade. Within minutes American politicians and commentators expressed outrage at the slight through every venue possible. These tirades were accompanied by accusations often in direct contradiction to each other, alleging the message was a) a fakeout by the Chinese to destabilize relations, b) a result of secret backroom deals the Chinese had made with the aliens ahead of time, or c) in an alien language only phonetically similar to Mandarin, and therefore incorrectly translated. The Chinese government elected not to respond to these petty barbs, and with only a hint of smugness they sent a message back to the ship welcoming their arrival and began hasty preparations for a state visit in the capital city.

The next two days were pure chaos in the White House, as several camps spent hours wrestling over an appropriate response. One side believed the US should request, if not demand, an invite to the Beijing meeting. This plot was shot down by the threat that a denial of their request, or even public acknowledgement a request had to be made, would be an unrecoverable embarrassment. Another group believed aggressive posturing was the right move: warships off the coastline, a condemnation of favoritism and isolation at the UN, perhaps even an "accidental" flyby of fighter jets to disrupt the event. The president was extremely keen on this idea at first, but was ultimately convinced it would look even more desperate than their first message about DC had. The last group urged dignity and restraint; they could swallow their pride and plan to "wow" the aliens when they found their way to Washington, which would obviously be their second stop if it hadn't been their first. This final option eventually won out, although the president would not agree without scheduling press conferences immediately before and after the state visit in China.

Finally the day arrived, and the golden ship drifted westward across the ocean to hover over Beijing. Just before noon, a smaller droplet bulged from its glittering surface, broke away, and fell gently towards the city, stopping just 50 feet above the plaza in front of the Great Hall. The General Secretary of the CCP watched its arrival from the foot of the Great Hall's steps, flanked by other high-ranking party officials, backed by all 2,977 members of the National People's Congress on the steps above, and surrounded by an ocean of national press and onlookers barely held back by stern-faced police. As it landed, the golden droplet extended three stabilizing legs to the surface, then seemed to squat down and unfold the central globule like a blooming flower to reveal its inhabitants.

The three of them were giants, the largest standing nearly 15 feet tall, with pale blue skin and jet-black eyes. But apart from those features, and a slight avian quality in the face and head, they looked nearly human, dressed in simple red jumpsuits of a leathery material. The atmosphere was electric as they approached the assemblage at the Great Hall, while the world (and the military snipers hidden on nearby rooftops) awaited the first acts of interstellar diplomacy with bated breath.

They needn't have worried. The aliens calmly walked up to the front steps of the Great Hall, gave slight bows and smiles, and their leader offered a hand to the General Secretary, who immediately took it. That was when the now-iconic photograph "The First Handshake" was taken of the grinning Secretary's hand engulfed in the alien's six-fingered fist, a picture that has now usurped both the Mao portraits and "Tank Man" as the most recognizable image out of China in the last century.

The five-hour visit to follow was a masterclass in statesmanship, livestreamed by nearly four billion people. Over a divine banquet, a walking tour of nearby landmarks, and a roundtable discussion, the aliens asked the Chinese many questions about their history and customs, although their mastery of the language suggested these were polite conversation starters more than earnest inquiries. The Chinese asked as many questions themselves about the aliens, who answered eagerly but stayed light on details. The blue giants said their society was many eons old and originated on a planet orbiting the Rigel star cluster almost 900 light-years away, although regretfully their planet had long since been destroyed. Their people were nomadic now, and apart from a few research outposts were all concentrated on ships like the one in orbit, but they would not share any details about the technology powering them.

Regarding their current visit, they stressed they came in peace. They described their roles as something between ambassadors and documentarians, here to make their introductions as well as gather data and experiences to bring back to their people. At the end of the visit, the aliens agreed to take a few questions from the assembled press, and the final one was the most anticipated: "Where will you be going next?"

"Our next planned stop is Iran," the leader answered without hesitation. "We will be in touch with them when we are ready to arrange a visit." And with a wave and many thanks to their hosts, the blue giants reentered their golden droplet, which folded closed and zipped back to rejoin the ship in orbit.

This final answer caused nearly as much tension as the first message had. The Iranian government sent a broadcast within minutes welcoming the aliens at their convenience, while the American president's scheduled press conference was an off-kilter overture of insults, grievances, and derisions of both the Chinese event and the upcoming Iranian visit. Most other countries declined to criticize the choice of venue, although quietly some other Western superpowers grumbled about being passed over in favor of Iran as well.

Two days later the golden ship sent another radio signal, this time in perfect Farsi, formally requesting a meeting at the Golestan Palace in Tehran, which the Iranians were only too eager to accept. Much like the first visit, their leader and two other giants shared an elaborate meal with the Supreme Leader of Iran and his Cabinet, visited the Tehran Bazaar Central Mosque nearby, and ended with another summit, where they asked about Iranian history and shared more of their own in return. The Iranians were especially interested in the visitors' theology, and the aliens described their peoples' four major religions, which were non-exclusive and only played a minor role in society now. When they took questions from the press, they were once again asked "Where is your next stop?"

"Cuba, if they will have us," was their answer, and five days later they arrived in Havana.

Over the next three months the golden ship crisscrossed the globe, averaging one state visit every six days. After Cuba they met with leaders from Libya, Armenia, Vietnam, Chile, and Egypt. An attempted visit to North Sentinel Island off the coast of India was cut short when the indigenous Sentinelese fired arrows at the giants on sight and chased them off the beach. After the Vietnam trip the aliens announced they would visit a place called "L'voia Tann," sparking confusion that only intensified when their ship positioned itself over the Pacific Ocean again and launched a golden droplet directly into the Mariana Trench. Throughout their globetrotting, the Americans continued to rage in private at the lack of acknowledgement, but after Cuba the administration adopted a softer stance in public, frequently suggesting the aliens were "saving the best for last." This position became more plausible after the ship made visits to some of their closer allies, like Japan and Italy.

Finally, after a joint state visit with the leaders of both Irelands, the aliens announced they would only make one last stop on Earth before they had to leave. They offered profound thanks to all of their hosts for being so hospitable, and insisted this was not an end to their shared dialogue. Indeed, before they left, they would leave behind a communications relay to allow contact with Earth across the vast expanse of space, connecting our planet to their ship as well as countless others within their network. Earth was being invited into the interstellar fold, and the aliens expressed great excitement for the mutual benefits this connection would bring. Naturally this begged the question from the press: who would be given the enormous responsibility to manage and share this line of communication?

"China, of course," was the leader's answer. The howls from the White House were said to be heard as far as Arlington National Cemetery.

The communications relay was delivered to Shanghai a week later in the form of a 60-foot-high liquid tank filled with hundreds of golden rings dancing and spinning on invisible currents. A short demonstration allowed the General Secretary to have a video call with the ship in orbit, and seeing a dozen more blue-skinned aliens smiling and waving through the screen at the base of the relay confirmed Earth had been welcomed to the stars, to thunderous applause from assembled on-lookers.

At the last press conference, when the aliens were taking a final few questions just before leaving, one journalist decided to finally ask: why had the US been excluded from their global tour?

"We have had only a little time to spend here," the leader said, "and had to choose our visits carefully. I certainly hope no country has felt singled out by our decisions." It was a diplomatic answer, and if the alien had stopped there, the US may have been spared the worst of the humiliation. But they continued "There's a phrase our people use, to say something is 'long at both ends.' The saying comes from an eel that used to swim in our oceans. It is similar to your saying something 'has legs,' but ours describes a thing having meaningful history as well as a bright future." Then they shrugged, a movement no alien had been seen using before, and added, "With such limited time, we only wanted to visit societies that were long at both ends." And that was the last word said on the matter before they returned to their ship, which moved out of Earth's orbit and blinked out of existence.

The first stumble on America's long trip down came one day later. The US declared on the floor of the UN that China could not be trusted with sole control of the communications relay and demanded they deliver it to New York immediately. China countered it would be too risky to move the delicate relay that far without the aliens' assistance, not to mention poor manners to go against their explicit wishes. Instead they proposed moving the official UN Headquarters to Shanghai, so all countries could share access to the relay. Member states voted in favor of China's resolution 190-3, but the US's veto prevented the motion from passing. Immediately China moved to revoke the US's Security Council position and veto, which the body also voted in favor of 190-3. The resolution was passed despite the US Ambassador's tearful insistence it couldn't revoke their veto powers because they were vetoing it, and the second vote to move UN Headquarters to Shanghai succeeded 191-2.

After the calamitous UN meeting, the American government approved a scathing assortment of sanctions against countries they deemed "traitors," mangling the global economy within weeks, but the worst of it came 18 months later. On the eve of completion of the new UN Headquarters complex, a nuclear warhead was intercepted in the East China Sea on a path to Shanghai, and when leaks from the White House revealed the president's written approval of the strike, it was the final straw. Within a day American ambassadors around the world were expelled, and within a week the US was subject to an economic embargo from 182 nations.

Now, 20 years on, the world has finally clawed its way out of the depression often called "The United Slump of America." Divestment from American interests was a painful process for many, but even in countries hit hardest, approval ratings of their administrations went up considerably for their efforts. Most have found the new "Chinese Century" much calmer than the past; advancements in energy, food, and medical sciences shared through the relay have eliminated many sources of international tension, but not being subject to the four-year whiplash of the American electorate has been a pleasant improvement as well.

America, for its part, has not joined the global upswing yet, and it remains in a deep economic and cultural depression—a malaise many expect won't last much longer. National approval for the requirements to release the embargo (nuclear disarmament and UN observation of future elections) are nearing 60 percent, and the projected frontrunner in the next US election has already made these cornerstones of his policy pitches. It remains to be seen if the US will succeed in rejoining the world, but for now their global cultural footprint can be summarized by an entry added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2032:

yankee, /jæŋki/ noun (slang), someone stupid to the point of total self-destruction. "He gambled everything in Macao and had to beg his way home, what a yankee."