Two Poems

by Oren Shafir

Feeling Unagnostic

God points a sunny finger
At the unreal clouds
In the black asphalt puddle
Beneath my feet
I stop
And jump in.


I submit to you that girls with exceptionally
Big ones
Suffer more than girls with exceptionally
Small ones.

Personally, I love them all:
Watermelon, cantaloupe, lemon
Strutting out sassy
Sitting up perky
Hanging down heavy
Balloon bouncy
With wonder support or
National geographical.

I submit to you that cosmetic plastic surgery should be illegal.

In Denmark, women can and do take them out
At the beach,
In public parks,
In their backyards,
But not in their front yards ?
Are you crazy!?

In the States, a woman can't or won't even take them out to feed
her baby in a restaurant.

Each woman produces as much milk
As her baby needs.
The baby stimulates production
By the very drinking,
And the mother of twins produces
Twice as much!
However, it is true, that more than two,
And somebody has to
Wait a turn.

FACT: A starving woman can still supply her infant with all the
nourishment it needs.

Not many sights beautiful as a healthy and perfectly full woman
feeding her baby.

In sports invented for men
They must be hidden.
They get in the way.
Women soccer players cannot do a proper
Chest trap.
Female boxers cannot hit below the belt
Or above the rib cage.
In basketball, they need a firm bra to
Hold them in place,
Hide them, if possible,
Make them disappear.
But in figure skating, they seem
Natural, elegant
And can possibly even count for one or two extra points.
Even in women's gymnastics, however,
They intrude-- hence
The great number of prepubescent gold medallists.

When boys start getting girlfriends
Boys learn,
To their astonishment,
That these are not in the same category
As the lower nefarious
Regions. Exploring upstairs is allowed.
At first, it might seem to an innocent lad
That the red tips are
Just like his own,
But really, oh please, don't insult me,
They are a completely different part of
A superior whole.

What are they? What are they made of?
These great orbs of powerful female wonder
Floating and glowing translucently

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