Artwork by Autumn Riddle
The Life Al Dente (for Cathy)
No man is lonely while eating spaghetti.
—Christopher Morley (as quoted by Billy Collins)
Can the same be said for linguine? Well, at first glance,
why not— though it lacks certainty. While eating vermicelli?
That is another question altogether. How about rotini?
All men actually are lonely eating rotini regardless
of the type of sauce, though no one knows why.Without exception men grow giddy eating ziti.
Additionally, no one grows wistful feasting on fusilli.
However, no one becomes joyous while eating lasagna noodles
on their own, it goes against the laws of nature.
The vast majority of men feel love deeply
while eating fettuccine though truth be told
that's really about the Alfredo sauce,
the type of pasta is not really important.
What about that iconic pappardelle?
While very few are lonely savoring its broadness,
it has been known to cause melancholy or euphoria
or sometimes both together if you can imagine that.And then there is orecchiette. All men grow forlorn eating
orecchiette, the tiny ears that hear the sound of the approaching
earthquake, the one that will bring down the stone walls
that are hundreds of years old in a mountain village
in the Apennines— which explains why there are
so many who will never, ever eat orecchiette again.
