Jan/Feb 2021

e c l e c t i c a
h u m o r  &  s a t i r e

Humor and Satire

(These are excerpts—click on the title to view the whole piece!)

Dear Phil

Michael, if you remember, is easing toward retirement. After working as a litigator for 40 years, he doesn't handle downtime well. He organizes and re-organizes the pantry. He spends hours researching gadgets I don't want and we don't need. Then he waits with his nose pressed against the window for our daily deliveries. The UPS man is his new best friend.

Marlene Olin

Death to Hackers

He wasn't sure which camera recorded last night's fight, the latest in an uncomfortable marriage and the fight over email that seemed to show he was having an affair with an Islamic babe in Dubai. It might have been the one on the HDTV or one of the security cameras. It might even have been the one on the refrigerator since it pointed out into the open-concept living room.

John Flynn

Non-Denominational Game Show

The day after, I was fired from my job, leaving with a Cheshire smile because even though I deeply dreaded it, I felt I must tend to my little ever-expanding flock. Sure, the room stank of fancy feces, but this seemed to me the sign of a happy clam clan. I didn't even care if I was losing my color vision, because the only show I still wanted to watch on TV was the dead channel's static slushy snow, from which portaled one Friday Fishcat the furteeth flying straight onto my water bed, sticking nine inch wolverine nails into it. I offered this new family member a feeding pan as a hat to calm her down from my deluge bed, and she thanked me by spitting some bed water into my thirst of a mouth.

Omer Wissman

LET THERE BE DARKNESS! The Genesis and Exodus of Death

No sooner did our original father and mother eat the fruit, than they both fell into a deep sleep under God's tree. As the new 86 billion neurons of each fired with 100 trillion connections, outnumbering the stars: they dreamed the lives and thoughts of all their future children—of wisemen, prophets, messiahs; of magicians, mystics, metaphysicians; of saints, sinners, seers; of alchemists, astronomers, and astronauts.

David Comfort