A Movie Review

by Shaggy Bob

Shaggy Bob may possibly have the biggest ego, but it's backed with the wisdom beyond any mortal means. He has answers to all questions. And he's never wrong. Well, so we are lead to believe. And don't let him get started on "women -- source of all evil" or else you'll never hear the end. You've been warned.

Empire Strikes Back (1996)

In the garage far, far away... I was chillin' and just minding my own business. And what happens? This nerdy guy comes up to me and asks "is that one of those things that will let you enter your car without a key?" and few other questions relating to that line. Of course he's never seen anything like it before. And he's driving a Lexus which has that feature if he bought the more expensive model. Talk about not paying any attention.

Speaking of not forcing an issue, Empire Strikes Back came out again and I had to go check it out. It's the 2nd of the trilogy that sets place in the Star Wars setting. After the Death Star gets blown up, the Imperial forces battles the rebels. The rebel heroes get separated while escaping and they have adventures of their own. And yes, the ending is still the same -- making you crave for the last of the trilogy, Return of the Jedi.

No nakkid boobs. No bullets (but lots of blasters). Tons of dead bodies that never shows up. 23 on the vomit meter. No moon shots. What we got here are: meteor-fu, snow from hell-fu, attack of killer monster-fu, ultimate bath-fu, incest-fu, rapid advancement through fist from hell-fu, falling ceiling-fu, ultimate indigestion-fu, making like a garbage-fu, and of course lets of light saber-fu. Video hall of fame nominations to: Carrie Fisher for saying stuff like "I like nice men" and to Mark Hamill for saying stuff like "that's not true" and to Billy Dee Williams for saying stuff like "you truly belong here" and of course to Harrison Ford for saying stuff like "no, that's not it". And we can't forget about Frank Oz as Yoda for saying stuff like "help you I will" and to Alec Guiness for saying stuff like "I cannot help you" and to Darth (James Earl Jones) Vader for saying stuff like "You have failed me for the last time." Four stars. Shaggy Bob says wicked!

Spoilers -- I'm sure you've heard about not messing with the perfection bit. Well, they really didn't do much to this one. You see bits and pieces here and there. And they did touch up a lot of the special effects. But over all, they really didn't change anything. Ok, maybe I was expecting more but then I guess you really can't improve much with this one.

If you're waiting for that phone call from Alicia Silverstone, just admit that she ain't gonna call and try to enjoy yourself by checking this flick out. It doesn't matter how many times you saw it on the small screen -- the big screen will have different feel guaranteed.

Alien Alert! What's this I hear about churches that deals with the city bitchin' about having to have to follow the rules of the city? Ok, so they don't like the domestic partners law. Big deal. You wanna deal with someone, you gotta play with their rules. And churches aren't exempt from that. In fact, they should embrace it with open arms.

Previous Page

To TOCE-Mail the AuthorSerendipity Link