Men Loving Lesbians Loving Each Other

by D. P. Johnson

So why are heterosexual guys so into lesbians anyway? Well, the easy answer is: They're not. They just want to watch.

I've often heard this or that guy say, in defence of his "barely present, largely reflexive" homophobia, something like, "Fags are fine. I mean, it's just like less competition, right?" But the same definitely does not hold true for the females of the type. Lesbians are, if sincere, utterly unavailable for men. They're a shrinking of the "pool", if you will. So it is logical for a horny guy to decry the practice as an Unnatural Act. Gay men provide MORE opportunity for straights, but gay women provide just that much less.

Still, it should be obvious to anyone who spends any time at all in cyberspace that lesbians are, and will continue to be, very popular subjects of film, print, and discussion. So just what is it about them that inspires such rapt attention? I think it's about (what else?) homophobia. See, for most straight guys, the male form is a nuisance. They don't want to run the risk of getting to LIKE looking at other guys' parts, so they try to avoid the exposure. It's a matter of self-preservation, really. I mean, anyone knows that if you hang around with naked guys you'll turn homo, right? Just look at the Ancient Greeks. All that bathing and athletic competition in the nude took its toll.

But the solution to this problem is beautifully simple: Eliminate the men. Take them right out of the picture, or the movie, or the literature, and the whole thing is altered. It no longer becomes an exercise in intellectualization of forbidden desire, and becomes instead a bath, an immersion, in Women. Who needs other people's pricks when you're just trying to get your OWN rocks off?

So for me, a rather solid, maybe stolid, heterosexual, it comes down to one thing. I'm not attracted to men. I'm sorry. I know it's narrowminded, especially in the Gay Nineties. But it's just the way I'm built. I've had the opportunity to experiment with that sort of thing, and it just never captured my interest.

I am, however, quite interested in the FEMALE form. All of its aspects, all of its mysteries. If I could jump in the Molecular Reconstruction Thingie and be made into a woman right now, I would probably do it. Why? Because I want to KNOW. I want to feel it for myself. I'd like to have a pair of breasts for a change, just so I could "test them out". I'd like to know what a female orgasm really is. And yes, for you ravening FEMINists, I'd even take the cramps.

Because it's just too much to be separated from women by such a gulf of circumstance. I don't feel any kinship with my OWN gender. We don't like the same things. We don't like the same people, even. I'd like for once to be able to belong to a club, just because. The female side of the planet is, to me at least, much more interesting than the male. And don't go ascribing any sort of politico- religious crap to me because of it. I just think that the gender hasn't been adequately expressed in the world, and I think it's time that it was.

So, speaking from the only valid perspective I have, my OWN, all I can say is that perhaps it's not that men want lesbians as men. Perhaps they want lesbians because they want to BE lesbians. I know that's how it works for me. I mean, what better expression of one's love for women than to be immersed in female flesh, up to the brain, even? Be flattered. Please.

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