Oct/Nov 2015

e c l e c t i c a  
h u m o r  &  s a t i r e

Humor and Satire

The User's Guide to Standardized Greetings

As with the handshake, it is a violation of social protocol to wave either before the person has arrived, or the next day. Waving should be done on only two occasions. The first is while seeking attention, or to give the wavee an approximation of where the waver is positioned. The second is as a non verbal form of communication used as an acceptable substitute for phrases like "goodbye," "good riddance" or "glad that's over."

Steve Vermillion


My Two Bodies

It wasn't long before I found out that no one else I knew had two bodies. I remember in pre-school in Philadelphia, asking my teacher where else she was. A look of concern, then horror, crossed her face. The school called in a psychologist to evaluate me. I was too young to lie, so I told him everything. This led to a very tense session with Mom and Dad, who had to insist that they didn't do drugs, and certainly didn't have any around the house.

Patrick Goggins


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