Hubbock

Hubbock

to uphold a reputation
not that i had one
unless you count queen bee
of the dateless wonders club
(oh the laughs they had)
i thought i could be a superhero
look! up in the sky! it's the dateless wonder.
i used to dream the dateless wonder
would find her equally dateless partner
and they would have dateless children
and i would go to bed with a man
before turning 30.

to follow in the footsteps of the greatest reporters, the finest journalists
("to inspire each girl
to fulfill her promise
and to better the world")
not that i was going to.
instead the footsteps cratered the sand
on the beach
at my funeral
and i'm driving on a road
passing the sign
welcoming me to ohio
and up ahead a car is stopped
side of the road, a man waving me down
i pull over, get out
the man, handsome as he is, points to the tire
a woman in the passenger seat
i can't see her yet
the man distracts me. the woman steps out.
she is me. exactly me right down to the dress.
she points the gun at me and fires

dream. dare. do.

so i cared too much
i couldn't stay impartial
it took me a whole day to die
to get what i wanted
they got my name right
they read my report
and in a bedroom on the other side of the country
a boy is looking at the driveway of 7132 point of rocks circle
hoping to see my ghost
(will blood be dripping from her head?)
he's got it wrong
he has only to look in front of him
i'm right there
in the mirror
every mirror
waiting to behave
to be loved
to speak out again.