Aug/Sep 1998 Film and Cinema


reviewed by Shaggy Bob

I want to believe. I want to believe that this DIVX thing isn't happening. Just what is the deal? You pay $5 or so, you can play it for 2 days, then thereafter you gotta fork out $3-4 every time you watch it? I dunno 'bout you but if I buy somethin', I want it to be mine to do whatever I wish with it.

Speaking of not very applicable, The X-Files came out so I had to go check it out. It's about these two FBI agents who investigates paranormal activities from the TV show. Anyhow, there's this bomb threat and these two find the bomb but the thing blows up so they get blamed for it. Go figure. Anyhow, they investigated the bombing and guess what? They found a lot more. A whole lot more.

No nakkid boobs. One bullet. 7+ dead bodies. 67 on the vomit meter. No moon shots. What we got here are: pre-historic-fu, hotter than hell-fu, wrong building-fu, locked door-fu, soda machine from hell-fu, wanna be Oklahoma City-fu, attack of killer bureaucrats-fu, the ultimate 86-fu, little boys room-fu, bone fragment-fu, autopsy from hell-fu, brand spanking new bikes-fu, off roading-fu, attack of killer bees-fu, and of course aliens-fu. Video Hall of Fame nominations to: John Neville as the Well-Manicured Man for sayin' stuff like "My life is forfeit", and to William B. Davis, as the Cigarette-Smoking Man for sayin' stuff like "what do you want me to do", and to Martin Landau, as Dr. Alvin Kurtzweil for sayin' stuff like "why do you think you're standing here talking to me". And of course to David Duchovny, as Special Agent Fox Mulder for sayin' stuff like "I have an appointment for the pelvic exam", and to Gillian Anderson, as Special Agent Dana Scully for sayin' stuff like "this is weird." Two and a half stars. Shaggy Bob says wicked!

Spoilers - The truth is out there. And the truth is, the flick is a glorified version of a TV episode. It does answer some of the questions but won't answer fully and it brings out more questions than before, just like the TV show. But the movie does point the show toward certain direction - the direction of the Aliens. If you're not a fan, you'll be able to follow the story but you won't fully appreciate what all the minor details mean. And if you're fan, well, you probably like it already so it probably won't matter too much. If Laura Wright said she's gonna give you call, maybe I might bring the cell phone with me. But then I'm a fan.

Alien Alert! Trust no one. Especially those in Washington. Heck, what is the deal with the cigarette bill? Why do we distinguish amongst the highly addictive chemicals just because we tax them? Doesn't it sound like double standard? Why can't we get out of the mold of get rich quick scheme?


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