Lost In Space

Would that I had listened to my gut instead of Lost In Space's flashy trailer, one of the best promos for a bad movie (see also: Alien Resurrecton, Cliffhanger) to come along in some time.

Where to start with my complaints about this movie? Is it Akiva Goldsman's ridiculous script that attempts to jam as many fall-down-howlingly-bad lines into two hours as possible? Actors who obviously realize its qualities and spend the time mumbling them beneath their breath? A ridiculous little creature called Blorp (or Gleep, or whatever) that's sole purpose seems to be to sell toys? The time travel plot that takes over half-way through the film and makes you long for the oh-so-logical days of The Terminator and Back to the Future? Hell, "The Jetsons" paints a more realistic view of the future...

Lost In Space may ultimately be an insult to your intelligence, but it is an insult with good special effects. But with a big-screen TV, you can wait for that HBO premiere instead of shelling out cash for this loser.

Lost In Space? I wish they'd never found it....