e c l e c t i c a
h u m o r & s a t i r e
(These are excerpts—click on the title to view the whole piece!)
Listen, my advice off the bat: do whatever it takes to get out of the Lot. If Maritha in Digital Services asks you to babysit her shitty kids so she can go get Sauvignon Blanc drunk at Applebee's, you do it. If Pete in Brand Management tells you to put your finger in his butthole, you do it. Anything to get people on your side. Let's introduce you around, huh?